Why do Koreans say “our” (uri) instead of “my”, as in “our mom”?
Because in Korean, 우리 (uri, “we/our”) is not only a plural. It also works as a warm little marker that says “this person or place belongs to my circle.” So 우리 엄마 (uri eomma, “our mom”) doesn't mean a mom you share with the listener. It is simply the natural way to say “my mom,” and only children say it too.
The National Institute of Korean Language, which keeps the standard dictionary, describes this uri as a word that shows a close relationship with someone, used when you are talking to people who are not above you. No plural needed. That's why you hear it everywhere: 우리 집 (uri jip, “our house”) from someone who lives alone, 우리 회사 (uri hoesa, “our company”), 우리 동네 (uri dongne, “our neighborhood”), even 우리 남편 (uri nampyeon, “our husband”), which tends to make learners giggle but sounds completely normal to us. The dictionary even writes 우리나라 (urinara, “our country”) as a single word, and to a Korean it simply means Korea.
Why does “our” feel more natural than “my”? Korean cultural psychologists often point to 우리성 (uriseong, “we-ness”): the feeling that your family, school, workplace and hometown are an inner circle you belong to, not things you own. Saying 내 엄마 (nae eomma, “my mom”) isn't wrong, but it can sound oddly possessive, as if you were stressing “MY mom, not yours.” Nae feels more at home with things: my phone, my bag, my turn. It's the same instinct that turns an older friend into a “big brother,” as we explain in our story on oppa, unni, hyung and noona, and that gives Korean a word for family that literally means “mouths that eat together”.
Politeness shifts things a little. With elders, a boss or in a job interview, Koreans switch to the humble form 저희 (jeohui): 저희 어머니 (jeohui eomeoni, “my mother,” said modestly) or 저희 회사 (jeohui hoesa, “our company”). The big exception is the country. The Institute recommends urinara over jeohui nara, since one person has no clear reason to humble an entire nation, so urinara is what you will usually hear, even in very polite speech.
If you are learning Korean, borrow the habit: uri eomma with friends, jeohui eomeoni with people you need to be polite to, and nobody will picture you sharing your mother with anyone.
